In the year 1998, moviegoers were introduced to a hero, unlike Batman or Superman. The film, starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, and Kris Kristofferson, was Marvelâs âBladeâ. The film, at the time, was a gamble at the time considering that Marvel had nowhere near the success it has now. The property was down bad and needed a success in the film department, especially since their last film, âHoward The Duckâ, was a cinematic dumpster fire. Luckily, the movie was a financial success, earning over $131 million at the box office against a $45 million dollar budget. While critics remain hot & cold on the film overall, fans and audiences loved it. That film, along with 2000âs âX-Menâ and 2002âs âSpider-Manâ, became the overall catalyst for Marvelâs quest to dominate the box office. A goal they would end up achieving when the Marvel Cinematic Universe kicked off in 2008 with Jon Favreauâs âIron Manâ.
I start by bringing up âBladeâ because at the time Marvel adaptations were new and fresh. Now, thereâs a new film or Disney + series every 3 months. I donât mind it though, I understand the approach that many studios take: âIf it ainât broke, donât fix itâ. Many people have spoken with their wallets in regards to these films as well over the past 25 years since âBladeâ first hit the big screen. However, not every studio has been successful. Warner Bros has been trying to figure out DC since the woeful failure that was 2017âs âJustice Leagueâ while Fox was forced to surrender âX-Menâ and the âFantastic Fourâ after their respective franchises repeatedly crashed and burned, via Disneyâs acquisition. As for Sony, well, they may have financial success with 2018âs âVenomâ and its sequel from last year but, theyâre kinda complicated. Sony has become a critical punching bag with their âVenomâ films as well as the idea of having a shared universe with all of Spider-Manâs rogueâs gallery without the titular webslinger himself.
I personally didnât care for either âVenomâ movie nor am I waiting for bated breath for next yearâs âKraven The Hunterâ or even âMorbiusâ. However, I was still willing to give âMorbiusâ a chance for one reason: our cinematic landscape has a vampire deficiency issue. Granted, the era of âTwilightâ movies and âTrue Bloodâ copycats was a tough one to get through for most but, one that many have now looked back on with fondness. When the trailer for âMorbiusâ dropped all the way in 2019, I honestly felt that this movie could easily be mistaken for a prequel/spin-off to the âUnderworldâ franchise. Jared Leto, who I like in Thirty Seconds To Mars, being in the lead role didnât make matters much better considering that I loathed the 2016 âSuicide Squadâ film. The trailers that followed only hindered my enthusiasm further. Still, I was going to be fair and give the film a chance. Iâve been wrong about films before: I honestly thought that last yearâs âInfiniteâ was going to be a fun 2000âs throwback film and I thought that âJungle Cruiseâ was going to be a vanilla and vapid blockbuster. So, how does âMorbiusâ fare given my low expectations?
Well guys, we stepped in it..big time. Never since 2019âs âDark Phoenixâ have I felt bored or humiliated sitting in a theater. The film clocks in at around an hour and 40 minutes and I felt the entire of the film. The pacing might be fast but, not in an engaging manner. Throughout the first half of the movie, Jared Leto spends the entire time throwing exposition points to both supporting characters and the audience as if they were dollars at a strip club. Itâs thrown towards us with razor sharp speed and yet, gives us no time to comprehend such mountainous albeit conventional information.
While the narrative remains conventional, the film hurls it around like a plastic bag floating in the wind. The opening scene alone is a hot mess: We start in present day Costa Rica for about 2 minutes, then (via a Looney Tunes-esque transition) go back about 25 years in Greece because we need to set up the good guy/bad guy dynamic, and then we smash cut back to present day New York. Apparently the events in Costa Rica (which youâve seen in the trailer thatâs been playing in theaters for the past 50 years) were just tucked away without a single problem. It went something along the lines of âhey, I know you were the sole survivor of a freak accident in Costa Rica but, hereâs an award from Sweden.â Thereâs so much missing in this film and yet, that was only within the first 5 minutes. Netflixâs âThe Witcherâ was less jarring than this.
However, once we get to the experimental phase where Leto becomes the âNew Marvel Legendâ as the filmâs marketing has touted on every poster, thatâs when things get worse. Similar to both âVenomâ films, the movie suffers from being a PG-13 film. The kills occur mostly off screen and they are so uninventive, it makes the far superior âScreamâ (From this past January) look like a âFriday the 13thâ sequel in comparison, and I absolutely loved that film. Speaking of PG-13, It blows my mind how the execs at Sony thought that making a bloodless vampire movie was even remotely good idea. In a matter of fact, they even tried to bring back the McGuffin blood subplot back from 2014âs âAmazing Spider-Man 2â, only for the âBlue Bloodâ in question to be considered ineffective. Why they even bothered brining that in, aside from maybe the MPAA, I honestly donât know. If anything, it goes along with the filmâs theme: Being aggressively pointless.
Originally, âMorbiusâ was set to hit theaters July 31st, 2020 but, thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic and all its variants, it was repeatedly delayed. You would think that a film that took two years to come out due to unforeseen circumstances wouldâve taken the time to at least brush up on VFX. Well, Iâm not entirely sure what happened but that was not the case here. For starters, the one thing I despise about some vampire films is the CGI face change that some movies have: example being every âLost Boysâ direct-to-DVD sequel. In âMorbiusâ the CG used on both Jared Leto and, later on, Matt Smithâs faces look comically horrid. It almost looked like a live action adaptation of Disneyâs âGargoylesâ if it were directed by Uwe Boll.
In a matter of fact, the CGI used here is all sorts of horrid. Iâve heard people compare this to 2004âs âBlade: Trinityâ or 2003âs âDaredevilâ but, in actuality, itâs not a bad early 00âs comic book movie, itâs a bad mid-00âs video game adaptation. There was a sequence aboard a boat that felt like it was ripped straight out of 2004âs âCatwomanâ minus the cheesy R&B background music. The rest of the fight scenes here feel like they belong in a 2003 PS2 game as opposed to a $75 million dollar movie in 2022. This film also overuses slow motion, trying to mirror Zack Snyderâs â300â, a trend that died thanks to both 2014âs âLegend of Hercules'â and the 2018 âRobin Hoodâ remake. However, the cherry on top of this soulless sundae doesnât come until the rushed and over edited finale where we get to see our âNew Marvel Legendâ pull a âHadoukenâ from âStreet Fighterâ. Seriously, Iâm not making this up.
Aside from itâs woefully dated visuals, The rest of the film is dreary and dreadful. There is no sense of atmosphere or tension that constitutes this as horror film. There are no stakes provided at all in this film, given that we are given no time nor a reason to care about anyone or anything. The performances are either flat or wasted. Jared Leto may have recently won a Razzie for his comically overboard performance in last yearâs âHouse of Gucciâ, as Dr. Michael Morbius however, he is so flat and wooden that he makes âTwilightâsâ Bella Swan look like Jim Carrey in comparison. As I have mentioned before, I like him in Thirty Seconds To Mars and I liked a few of his performances (i.e. âRequiem for a Dreamâ, âMr. Nobodyâ) but lately heâs become the male equivalent of Gal Gadot: An attractive charisma vacuum. The rest of the supporting cast are completely wasted and relegated to playing cardboard cutouts mistaken for characters. Worst so, âDr. Whoâsâ Matt Smith (despite being the only one who looks like heâs having fun here) is relegated to playing the one dimensional baddie.
Listen, I understand that a lot of people work hard on these productions and I do respect that. Usually, I try to find some sort of enjoyment in anything that I watch. As bad as Netflixâs âTexas Chainsaw Massacreâ was, I can at least acknowledge that Director David Blue Garcia and DP Rick Diaz did their best with a terrible screenplay. I wasnât too enthusiastic about âResident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon Cityâ but, I acknowledged that Writer/Director Johannes Roberts had his heart in the right place as he tried to please the fans. With Morbius, the entire film felt like a corporate obligation. There was no effort to tell a compelling story nor was there an effort to give audiences a reason to give a shit. Everything from the direction to the writing to the performances feels mechanical and phoned in. I may have been critical of films such as Marvelâs âEternalsâ and âZack Snyderâs Justice Leagueâ but, at least those films (as much as I didnât love them) had some sort of heart invested in their respective creations, âMorbiusâ does not.
Final Verdict:
âMorbiusâ encapsulates everything wrong with Hollywood today by being insultingly safe and over reliant on CGI thatâs 20 years out of date, making the end product inconsequential, bloodless, and lifeless.